Ryan Gosling’s experience is not what you’ll get with my sensual massage!

Did you read about it? They say that Turkish massages are among the best in the world, but I’m pretty sure that Ryan Gosling won’t be having another one anytime soon. Besides, you know how I feel about massage. As far as I’m concerned, I give the very best services!

And yes… Yes, I can be that confident! If you’re in London City, Shoreditch, Liverpool Street, or indeed anywhere around these places, you can call on me and you’ll get the best sensual massage money can buy.

So, you want to hear more about what happened to Gosling yes? Apparently he had a really bad Turkish baths experience and ended up with a big, fat Turkish guy’s belly hair in his mouth! Now, I’ve just proven that I don’t mind boasting a little, so I can safely say that were you ever to have my belly in your mouth, it wouldn’t be an unpleasant experience at all. Just thinking about having that sweaty belly in my mouth is actually making me feel quite ill!

“…this guy’s idea of massage was to take one leg and the other arm and try to connect it behind my back. And then his belly went in my mouth”

Ryan Gosling on The Graham Norton Show

Eww! I know… It’s a blessing that we angelic looking masseuses don’t have “belly hair” isn’t it? We like to keep ourselves smooth, silky, fit and toned. And when you think about it, it’s not difficult to do when you spend much of your time covered in massage oils and Nuru gel. It’s actually incredibly good for your skin, and I’m well moisturised!

My Liverpool Street tantric massage won’t hurt!

More to the point, when you book my massage service, I won’t be trying to manipulate your joints in directions they were not intended to go! I know my limitations, and I don’t want to break any bones or pull any muscles. It’s my job to relax your muscles, your body, and indeed your mind.

Let me show you just how it’s done. I offer incall and outcall massage services…

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