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Firstly I’d like to point out that I’m not talking about any of my tantric massage clients. You gents are generally well behaved. I’m speaking from personal experience and from the experiences of my girlfriends of course. I though now might be a good time to give you a few pointers, or indeed rules, for you to follow when it comes to “sexting”.

Secondly, I’d like to ask, what the hell is it with that term anyway? “Sexting?” Really? It just sounds funny. Now, don’t get me wrong. I can get turned on by the occasional sexy message from certain individuals (that’s what I’ll call them). It’s a very personal and enticing way to become intimate with someone when you’re getting to know them, and I’m glad it’s around. But here are the rules you need to follow if you want to impress. Listen to your favourite tantric massage specialist, I won’t lead you down the wrong path!

Women have a different online experience

I understand that a new relationship makes you think about screwing all the time that you’re actually not. Getting and sending messages whilst you’re a work really winds you up and gets you going, I get that (and as a tantric massage provider it’s good for business sometimes!)

Don’t send the first one! This is imperative, and you could avoid a lot of embarrassment if you listen to me. Let me explain a little more. I’m not saying she’s on dating sites or hookup sites etc. but she may well have been before she met you, and you have to understand that it’s very different for a woman online. She will invariably have had hundreds, if not thousands of inappropriate messages and dick pics from some pretty awful men, so she might be a little sensitive about getting sexy messages in the beginning. Best to let her do the initial message. If she’s horny and she wants more of you when you’re not around, she’ll let you know!

Remember what it’s like for women

I’m sure you’re not a sexual predator, but you have to appreciate that women have this to worry about. On a date, or during messages etc. all a guy is really thinking about is whether he’s going to get laid or not. And this is a male thing, not a predator thing you understand! You guys just can’t help it. Women think about this too of course (I speak from experience), but they also have the usual worries. On top of that they’re probably wondering whether you’re a psychopath, or a control freak etc. All those gender imbalances suddenly become very important. You don’t want to start sending out the wrong signals with “sexting”.

Dick pics

Oh, and finally, don’t send dick pics, ever! Unless she asks you of course. If she asks you, get it out and play with it a little so it’s not so limp and pathetic looking, and send it. Make sure you trust her first however, she could be having a laugh with her mates. So only if you’re actually dating her guys! Okay?

There… I’ve said my piece. Now you can “sext” with a little decorum